It’s well documented that San Francisco Giant Pitcher Brian Wilson has perhaps the most indomitable beard of our generation. He is a fastball-wielding menace on land while simultaneously portraying a salty sea captain around The Bay. His beard has become so popular, ESPN recently delved into the inner workings of his face fur, discovering lost civilizations and c-list actors within, all too happy to dwell in the coveted real estate.
So since you aren’t Brian Wilson, strap on a huge fake beard, get your self some Giants gear (or some Celtics jerseys. Maybe just a yellow slicks and some fish stink) and become the beard. Fear it.